: my love's a revolver :

Soooo this was supposed to be a 30 day challenge whatever buuuut the person I stole it from cut out some questions and posted it all at once ad I couldn't find the actual source. And I WAS just gonna do a short 25 day version but then I sat down and answered all the questions all at once, so it seems kinda like, pointless to post them in tiny bits? XD Soo yeah.

( I'll be nice though and use a cut 9__9 )

Sorry I totally haven't been around for a few days. I wasn't feeling very well for awhile so I kind of avoided eeeeverything, including the internet, and I also had to take Lia to her therapy appt which pretty much always sucks because they don't like me. Idk why I feel like that, but I do, and it's really fucking stressful to have to sit in the waiting room for an hour or however long it takes (sometimes they go like way over) while the receptionist glares at me. Yanno, if you saw me going out you'd think I wouldn't give a shit but I really do sometimes. -___-;;

Also went to the doctor's on the same day so that didn't help either. I think they're angry with me because I keep going back and forth on getting help, because sometimes I'm like fuck I'm fucking destroying myself and make plans to actually work on getting at least a little bit better. But like those ever stick around. I mean, I usually start thinking about that when I get really sick and stuff and then once I've managed to get better I end up right in the same patterns I'm always in. I've been (mooooostly) sticking to my meal plan stuff and all that but I think they think I need to change that, and that kinda freaks me out a little, you know? :/

whatever.

Nooot thinking about that. INSTEAD. Meeeeeeme. :D

1. One thing you last thought about:
2. One thing that is next to you now:
3. Biggest dream:
4: One thing you can't live without (in an emotional way, don't cheat and say "food"/"water"/etc. ^^):
5. What makes you happy:
6. What are you listening to now/have listened to last:
7. What is particularly good/bad about my LJ/DW:
8. An interesting fact about you:
9. Are you in love/have a crush at the moment:
10. Favorite place to be:
11. Favorite lyric:
12. Best time of the year:
13. Weirdest food you like:
14. If you're turned into a unicorn, what's the first thing you will do?

RECOMMEND
1. A film:
2. A book:
3. A song:
4: A band:

PLUS
1. One thing you like about me:
2. Two things you like about yourself:
3. Put this in your LJ/DW so I can tell you what I think of you?

So I might have woken up four hours ago. Yeah. At 8. This is what happens when you work at home: ZERO SLEEP SCHEDULE. 8D But this means I can spend some time repairing all the shit that exploded during my three-hour nap yesterday.

Last night was fucking epic, by the way. I have to remember to leave the house to do that more often, and it was so good to see Mari again (as you might have guessed from my last entries). She looks fucking amazing now, no shit. But yeah, we went to dinner and she insisted on paying for her half, and then out to the club. Far too much to drink, and since this was one of the ones I frequent, I knew exactly where to get what I needed, since Mari's decided she's not enabling me anymore. :( So yeah, way too drunk and way too high, but really fucking hard night anyway. In a good way.

A really good way. Shit, I needed that.

Ended up going back to Mari's at like 4am, because she wanted to grab food again after the clubs closed. At least this time she didn't try to get me to have anything. Greasy spoon food -- NO THANKS esp being so fucked up. I'd just throw it all back up again. Ugh. But yeah, got back to her place at 4 and put her to bed (no Ela not like that) and then ended up spending the rest of the night making her old desktop work again. There is like, nothing to do in her house except that and watch TV and late-night television gets really boring if you don't have the interesting channels. I hung around until she woke up again (had to sober up), she tried to make me breakfast, I gave her what I owed her for her rent (lol that sounds like I'm paying a hooker or something, uh no) and took off for home.

I don't know what it is with me. I fucking forget how much I love being out with people when I'm in the house so I turn into a fucking crazy cat lady. Except. I don't like our cats. (The only reason we still have them around is because of Lia, seriously.) But then someone drags me out or I just make myself leave and I'm like, why the fuck did I ever sit in the house for a month? Because this is the best thing ever! I always end up feeling a little more normal after a night out like this. Usually, I guess.

I don't think about it too hard most of the time.