> I just about died

[geishadeconstruct]

If I could actually get tattoos I gotta admit I would be so fucking tempted to do this.

Also I am so fucking hungry right now omg yinz don't even know. ;___;

Comments

[geishadeconstruct]

Oh honey. A club's like, got a totally different atmosphere to begin with, and it's really more about socializing than dancing (though not so much as just like, going to a bar, ugh). I mean, a lot of people go to dance at clubs and whatnot but idk there's just something different about going to an actual rave. I don't do it very often, though. :(

XD Yeah. Though that could actually get me killed in certain circumstances -- definitely at least assaulted. :/ Though I'm not really stupid enough to take anyone who wasn't okay with that home with me anymore.

[hakuchou]

Ahh... so, rave is more "just being there to dance".

You know, I was thinking lately, it seems in some way like the idea... of being really hyped up, lost in music, just moving yourself and letting it take you... it's similar to ecstatic spiritual rites in other cultures. I wonder, if it is this time's version of one.

Ugh. Yeah. ;-; I guess I thought, if you're confident about it, maybe that would throw off anyone who wanted to hurt you. But, probably not. It's so awful that, just for being born different in a way people can't help... never mind any choice that people make to be different, which should be 100% okay too... people think they have a right to say,you don't belong in this world. It's horrible.

[geishadeconstruct]

Yeah. It's also about community, but a different type of community? Like, whenever I'm at raves, we're all there for the music and nobody really gives a fuck who you are or what you look like as long as you're enjoying yourself (and usually fucked out of your mind on x drug of choice buuuut 9___9). It's everyone getting together for the experience of the music.

...why the crap don't I go to more of these? Er. Other than the fact that I'm also secretly a catty bitch and like talking shit at people. Shhhh.

Idk. I'm not super spiritual or anything (like you are :] ) but I guess it definitely could be.

I wish I could say confidence fixes it all. I mean, fuck, it's done wonders for me, yeah and I'm not like cowering in the fucking corner but that doesn't mean I haven't taken my fair share of violence and shit (and probably then some) because of the way I present. Fuck knows how many black eyes I got when I was still IDing as a woman because they "thought I was a real girl" and whatever. Whatever the fuck that means. Even being confident I still get verbal abuse thrown at me everyfuckingwhere. Like, cannot walk down the street half the time. Just learned how to give it right back or ignore it. And pick and choose more carefully who I take home at the end of the night. :/

Ela keeps saying I should learn to throw a punch but it's just not something I've ever really been able to do. She's the violent one. I'm just pretty. ;P

[hakuchou]

Ohhhh, that sounds like so much fun though. Losing yourself and your mind in the music, (and, everything else 6_6). No one judging, as long as you're happy. Sounds so much like being free. ^^

Whatever the fuck that means.

Uuuugh, yes. What it means is, "people I judge to fit into the group 'girl'". And... it's not their business to judge that. It's not anyone's business but your own.

I'm sorry you've had so much trouble... it happens to everyone like this I know. Just, why do people have to care how others live their life. Let people alone, you know?

[geishadeconstruct]

It seems like such an easy concept to get, doesn't it? :/ And yet, most of my friends who fall under the trans* umbrella have some story or another.

I guess we're just too ~*~threatening~*~ To what I have no fucking idea. I mean, I couldn't hurt someone if I tried.