Haaa, yeah. >___> Though I look awesome whether I'm going out or not. Kind of a thing where if I'm going to get up I'm going to look good, sorta? I guess it doesn't help that I work from home alot too so I don't actually go out very often. (Also we have video conferences so I can't just lounge around naked or anything XD)
Ugh I know how that is in movies sometimes though alot of times I don't care how other people look, like, they'll still look skinny but I can't really compare myself to them? Whiiiich is totally distorted thinking and I know it is but it's not really something I can stop. :/ Plus it's hard to admit to Ela sometimes because she accuses me of being crazy all the time. .__.
Idk I think everyone always identifies if it's gotten really bad? Or I guess I couldn't really imagine not being ana because like I've been doing this since like, high school (and that was a looong time ago for me >.>). So even if I did recover I'd probably still think about it. And I don't really even have much interest in recovering, just like. I don't want to be constantly sick either so it's more like regulating than recovering for me.
Uugggh feeding tubes. >___< Couldn't be on one of those ever D: Even the meal plan is sometimes too much like letting other people control me even though I know I need it. Esp since sometimes I end up trying to convince myself I can live on drugs which is a lot easier to do when I'm high. :/ Lol two addictions that don't go well together.
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Ugh I know how that is in movies sometimes though alot of times I don't care how other people look, like, they'll still look skinny but I can't really compare myself to them? Whiiiich is totally distorted thinking and I know it is but it's not really something I can stop. :/ Plus it's hard to admit to Ela sometimes because she accuses me of being crazy all the time. .__.
Idk I think everyone always identifies if it's gotten really bad? Or I guess I couldn't really imagine not being ana because like I've been doing this since like, high school (and that was a looong time ago for me >.>). So even if I did recover I'd probably still think about it. And I don't really even have much interest in recovering, just like. I don't want to be constantly sick either so it's more like regulating than recovering for me.
Uugggh feeding tubes. >___< Couldn't be on one of those ever D: Even the meal plan is sometimes too much like letting other people control me even though I know I need it. Esp since sometimes I end up trying to convince myself I can live on drugs which is a lot easier to do when I'm high. :/ Lol two addictions that don't go well together.
Thank you for the lucks, though. :33